


I didn’t mean to: Chapter One | Creative Chaos

by KrissyK



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:06:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5226287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrissyK/pseuds/KrissyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Mark spills the beans about being in love with Jackson on air he is forced to “pretend date” with Jackson in order to boost ratings for JYP but what happens when Jackson is the only one pretending? Will Mark be able to handle only having Jackson in a pretend relationship or will everything they’ve built as friends come crumbling down?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
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# I didn’t mean to: Chapter One

  
[October 6, 2015October 7, 2015](https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/10/06/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-one/) | [creatingdualchaos](https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/author/creatingdualchaos/)

Chapter One

            If any one would have asked Mark what he was thinking in that moment he would have told them it wasn’t even about Jackson in the first place. It seriously wasn’t his fault; Jackson had just randomly been popping up in his head for months. Mark had thought it was because Jackson was his best friend but soon those months turned into years. Mark could still remember when he first realized that he was completely fucked because he loved his best friend. It was on a rainy morning and everyone was getting ready to get leave for rehearsals.

Jackson had just gotten out of the shower and was brushing his teeth. Mark himself made sure to shower before his roommate because Jackson took forever inside the shower, using an array of products he traded with BamBam so that they _looked their best._

As Mark hung up his towel and turned around to face Jackson he noticed the man had spilled toothpaste on his chest. How Jackson managed to get himself dirty so quickly after showering baffled Mark but he was so used to it by now that it didn’t faze him too much. He was always cleaning up after Jackson anyway so it wasn’t unusual for Mark to reach for a hand towel and wipe the mess clean from Jackson’s body.

Jackson looked confused for a second before smiling, mouth full of minty bubbles and said, “Thank you.”  That minty thank you had been one of the most beautiful things Mark had ever heard and that was when he knew he was in love with the wild and sexy Jackson Wang.

~

Being in love with Jackson was fine with Mark; it wasn’t like he was having an identity crisis for loving a guy. If anything it felt so much safer to love another guy, after all Mark understood guys because he was one. He felt comfortable being in love with Jackson. What was so wrong about the warming feeling he got in his chest when he saw his friend? His love was innocent because it was all his own. No one knew about it and Mark planned on keeping it that way. Of course it was surprisingly easy to keep it that way.

Mark rarely talked in general so it was simple enough to just not say, “Hey Jackson you have lint in your hair and oh by the way I love you.” Instead Mark loved his best friend in silence and tried to treat Jackson the same way as he did everyone else but even he wasn’t blind to the fact that they just drew to each other like magnets.

They even had a show named after them, everyone seemed to like Markson but if that was the case why was there still so much hate. Fan service was only good when it brought in money to the company, it was frowned upon however when it was real. The world was afraid to love something different.

~

Mark had gone months after his realization of loving his friend without any hiccups so when he actually messed up he was actually surprised himself. They were currently doing a radio show about their knew album _Mad,_ an album that showed a more serious side of them. Everyone was really happy about the concept and it seemed that they were getting good feedback. It was easy enough to just let the other members vocalize their love for the concept and have them talk through the radio show as Mark only commentated when a question was directed right to him.

Questions were normally geared to the other members but for some reason he was becoming very popular because of this concept himself. Supposedly everyone was really surprised by how well Mark had done but Mark had only done what he was told to do and if when he said or rapped his parts of the lyrics who cared if he pretended to be talking to Jackson. No one needed to know that. Well know one expect the whole world apparently because it seemed those words just came from his mouth…live….and on air.

“What do you mean when you said you were talking to Jackson?” The radio host asked, confusion and interest written on their face. They looked like a child in a candy store who just discovered something amazing that they had never seen before.

Mark looked at his room and saw all eyes on him and swallowed hard. He needed an excuse. Thankfully BamBam came to his rescue by saying, “Why Jackson, why not me?” BamBam’s commentary made everyone laugh for a bit but the radio host was still staring at Mark with a look as if they just _knew_ something. Mark could just feel Jackson staring at him along with the eyes of the rest of the radio station staff as they all whispered amongst each other.

“So Mark, you really put feeling into what you were saying and it really sounded as if you were broken hearted or desperate for love in your new album. I must personally say that this was the album for you. Where did you get your inspiration? Was it perhaps Jackson as you said before?” The radio host said, laughing a bit at the end but Mark did not feel like laughing.

“I…I don’t know I just kind of thought about what it would feel like to be in that person’s position.” Mark said, trying to calm himself as he gripped his hands together in his lap.

“In that position, do you mean someone in love?” They asked. Mark knew the host was just doing his job but he hated them for it. For prying into doors that needed to stay shut.

“Yes, someone in love.” Mark said, trying so hard not to glace over at Jackson for comfort because he knew it would just making everything worse. He needed to stop where this was going and fast.

“Have you ever been in love Mark? Or perhaps was Jackson in love and you asked him what it was like?”

“I didn’t ask him that, I… just thought about it.”

“Well it felt very natural, Jackson perhaps Mark has something he would like to tell you.”

Switching back to English Mark let out a very forced, “Nope.” Which might have been a bit rude but Mark couldn’t help it his brain was going insane. Screaming at how much he just fucked up.

The rest of their time on air Mark stayed deadly quiet and hoped that this did not just ruin his entire life.

~

Today was a very bad day for Mark because as soon as they finished the show everyone began to ask questions, most of which stared with a, “What the hell Mark?”

Mark backed himself up away from his members until he heard their manager call Mark over.

“Mark JYP would like to speak with you and Jackson in person.” Was all he said before herding up the rest of the members so they could leave. When Mark moved to go inside the van the manager told him and Jackson that they would be taking a different car directly to the company building because JYP was already waiting for them.

Had word of the radio show really traveled that fast? His phone told him that it was a definite yes as articles and social media began to buzz with titles like, _Mark in love? Mark’s hidden heartbreak?_ And then there was Mark’s personal favorite; _I told you Markson was real, see the proof here._

“Mark what was that?” Jackson asked when they got inside the car. His friend looked completely thrown of guard and Jackson was looking at Mark as if he had never seen the boy before in his life and that…that hurt.

“I don’t know…it just slipped out.” Mark said before staring out the window.

“Just slipped out? Things like that don’t just slip out Mark. What the hell did you mean when you said that?” Jackson said, talking to him in English because he was getting worked up.

“I don’t know what I meant.” Mark said and put his headphones in and tried to tune out Jackson. As Mark looked out the window he tried his hardest not to let the angry tears fall from his eyes. When his phone rang from his mother he didn’t answer either. Talking to his parents would just make him crumble. He didn’t tell them about his love for Jackson but Mark knew his parents weren’t stupid. They knew were Mark’s heart was.

When they arrived at JYP’s building Mark could only hope that the man wouldn’t take it out on Jackson, and that he wouldn’t fire him right away either. Mark knew he might have just ruined his life but hey maybe he didn’t right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the elevator ride up to JYP’S office Mark felt like he was going to be sick and having Jackson stare at him like that was not helping. He knew he needed to explain but what was there to say?

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/10/08/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-two/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wait you want us to what? You do realize that just because Mark is gay does not mean that I am. Can’t we just do some sort of gay pride sort of thing? Look I love Mark but nothing like that.”
> 
> Ouch….Mark tried to stay still and if any more tears fell from his eyes t was because he still thought he was leaving, not because Mark was sad at Jackson’s words.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/10/14/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-three/


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On his way out the door Mark found Coco barking at the front door, pawing at it with her little white paws. Only stopping to grab her leash, Mark quickly opened the door and headed out the door. He knew it was a stupid idea to go right through the front door of their building so Mark took the back way which was easier to use when not wanting to be seen by fans or paparazzi.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/10/23/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-four/


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Coco I don’t think this is the right way…why’d you run off for?” Mark asked, holding the small dog in his arms. Mark was only supposed to grab Coco some food and then head back but after giving her the present she had suddenly ran off. Mark had hurried after her and didn’t notice they were lost until the last minute when he saw Coco nibbling on her treat on top of a fountain edge. Mark had no idea what else to do and to be honest he was to tired to walk any more, so he sat on the fountain where he found his dog and waited.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/10/30/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-five/


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mark over here, could we get a quick word please about what happened at the radio station?” The vultures said. Would it be rude to quickly run away, it was probably the smartest idea but Mark just couldn’t get his feet to move.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-six/


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laughter, Mark could hear that beautiful sound in his ears. Jackson’s laugh sounded so beautiful, it flowed so easily from the other boy.
> 
> I love you Mark…
> 
> Jackson…please…I…just want you so badly…
> 
> Mark….

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/11/10/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-seven/


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark woke up to the sound of pitter-patter feet on the wooden floor. Groaning her turned to see Coco spinning at the side of his bed, she needed to use the bathroom. Turning, Mark looked over at the digital clock suspended on the wall and saw that it read 5:15AM.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/11/27/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-eight/


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The area in which the fan signing was being held was loud as ever, with girls and a few boys screaming for Got7 to come out and show their faces. Mark truly felt loved every time they had a fan signing but today he felt uneasy. He wasn’t ready to answer any questions but he knew he’d have too. Jaebum had made it pretty clear that one more fucking up and there would be consequences.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-nine/


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once on stage Mark felt a mix of emotions. He wanted to cry, throw up and maybe pass out. The first things he saw where signs that read, “MARKSON IS WRONG.” But they quickly got over shadowed by the one’s that read, “MARKSON FOREVER.” The fans cheered wildly when they all entered the stage. Everyone was a little unnerved by the mixed shouts of happy and angry. Some fans were happy that Markson was a thing but others were pissed off about it, yelling boo and being overall gross. Either way they had a job to do so when Mark took his set and picked up the black marker he looked ahead and got ready to sign some stuff.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/06/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-ten/


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Mark got his face retouched up by the makeup artists, much to their annoyance he promised to try and keep a clean face this time. Mark walked much slower on his way to the stage this time, not ready to get rejected again. Before he could been seen entering from the back of the stage Jackson called out Mark name and hurried to his side.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/08/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-eleven/


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears streamed down Mark’s face as he watched Jackson pack up his things. This couldn’t be happening, not when he thought everything was about to start getting better. He needed to do something, needed to say anything to get the boy to drop his bag.
> 
> “Jackson please, I love you.” Mark pleaded, his voice cracking at the end. He didn’t bother to wipe at his face, what was the point when he felt himself breaking.
> 
> When Jackson looked at Mark finally, he swung his over night bag over his shoulder. “I know that but Mark, I don’t care. I need to leave, Jessi is waiting for me.” Jackson said, before walking out of the room and breaking Mark’s heart once more.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/11/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-twelve/


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark sniffled some as he heard tapping on his door. Coco was currently sitting on the pillow that was covering his tear-ridden face. Jackson had left him again…he supposed Jackson would always leave him.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/i-didnt-mean-t-chapter-thirteen/


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung had said ignore the love of his life, which was actually a lot easier than Mark expected. When Jackson had gotten home, Mark made sure to wake up extra early to get dressed and not be there. Finding a new hiding spot however, was the difficult part. As an idol and one that was currently trending right now he needed a spot that people wouldn’t find him and Jackson wouldn’t find him right away. He ended up in Jinyoung and Jaebum’s room. After all those two knew exactly what Mark was doing.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/16/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-fourteen/


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time when Mark stepped on stage it was like he felt like a whole new person. Telling Jackson off like that had felt amazing! Months after pining for the boy and then having it turn out crappy had almost ruined Mark but like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Mark was ready to raise some hell. Marching forward to pick up his mic Mark yelled, “Alright IGOT7’S are you ready to make some noise!” And the reaction he got from the crowed was perfect. Fans cheered loudly in excitement as they waited for the meeting to begin.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/19/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-fifteen/


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once everyone was back on stage it was time to perform If You Do. When it came time for the part for Jackson to fall into Mark’s arms, Mark wanted nothing more than to let Jackson fall on his ass but he didn’t because he had messed things up enough so performance went on perfectly and so did the rest on the day, until it was time to go home.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/21/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-sixteen/


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they arrived at their destination Mark noticed that it was one of the very few spots idols could go without having to worry about camera’s being shoved in their faces. It was called the Palace, for its elegant look and because security was so perfect at the place. Before entering each idol had to sign a slip that said they wouldn’t share anything that they saw on the inside with the outside world. It was supposed to be used to allow the idols to truly feel safe around each other.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/26/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-seventeen/


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I…I am so drunk right now. Like…like I think I just created a record for drunkenness.” Peniel said, lulling his head to the side on the couch he and Mark were currently resting on. They decided to move into the resting areas in the back, that idols typically used to sleep at when they partied to hard. Many people used these areas for another things as well. Mark was trying really had to calm his body down but the sounds that were coming from the room next to theirs’s was extremely distracting.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/28/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-eighteen/


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Mark woke up the next morning he was surprised he even got any sleep. What Jackson said just before had been running around his head over and over. Just how did Mark end up being the…well the cheater in the relationship. It didn’t make any sense.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-nineteen/


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark was quick to follow after his roommate because he was going to get an explanation. He ruined it? Him, as in Mark Tuan had ruined it? Did Jackson get a concussion or something because that literally made no sense.
> 
> “Jackson Wang! You better fucking stop right there.” Mark yelled, rushing forward to yank his friend back by the arm. Mark immediately felt bad when he saw Jackson’s tear ridden face.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2016/01/01/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-twenty/


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been days since they had finally learned about Jackson’s contract situation and nothing was being done. Mark was going absolutely nuts. Jaebum had said he would handle it, and he trusted him but what was taking so long. Jackson continued to avoid Mark, still to hurt to look at his face and could Mark really blame him. He knew he should be preparing to face JYP but he was seriously worried about Jackson. The boy looked like all hope was lost. He wasn’t smiling anymore, he hardly ate and Mark could have sworn he heard Jackson crying in the shower. Jackson’s trip to BamBam’s room was evidence of that.

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2016/01/08/i-didnt-mean-to-chapter-twenty-one-final/


	22. New Story Mad Towns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I first just want to give a big thank you to everyone who read this story and left kudos and comments, it really means a lot. I just wanted to let you all know that I have started an original story, meaning not fandom related called Mad Towns. It would mean a lot if you all could let me know what you think about the story. So I'll leave the links below and I hope you all enjoy <333

Chapter One https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2016/02/25/mad-towns-the-beginning/  
Chapter Two https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2016/03/01/mad-towns-the-devils-laughing/  
Chapter Three https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2016/03/09/mad-towns-about-time/


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay for those that were intrested in Mad Towns thd Next Chapter is up and ready for reading <333

https://ourcreativechaos.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/mad-towns-chapter-sixthey-dont-give-a-damn-about-us/


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